1. My husband’s parents once accused me of killing their beloved African Grey parrot by boring it to death with several hours of reruns of “The O.C.”
2. I once went to a Paul McCartney concert and I sat in the second row off to Paul’s right. At one point, all the people around me sat down so I stood up and danced and Paul gave me a thumbs up.
3. One time at a Red Sox game, I dropped a foul ball, and then everyone booed me — including my husband and his family.
4. I read Get Fuzzy and Zits every single day before I even bother to check the news.
5. I can sing almost every single Beatles song from start to finish because I always listened to the Beatles while working on Nintendo games such as Zelda: A Link to the Past and Super Mario World for Super Nintendo.
6. President George W. Bush once used my right shoulder as an armrest.
7. I’ve eaten at Guapo’s Mexican Restaurant at least 200 times, which means I’ve probably spent about $5,000 there.
8. I once snuck into Dave Grohl’s dressing room. He was very kind. And had a lot of liquor.
9. I can do loads of Sudoku but still have problems with crosswords, which is embarrassing for me because my dad went to the National Crossword Championships.
10. I have, in fact, attempted to learn how to speak Klingon.
11. I once eavesdropped on a private conversation between Bill Clinton and Anderson Cooper while waiting for an elevator.
12. I have a great desire to audition for American Idol, yet I never do and then I regret it when I start seeing all these horrible people make it to Hollywood. I’m sure I’m just as good as the horrible people.
13. At this Survivor-fan-club thing one time, I met Jeff Probst and he dared me to eat a worm. So I did.
14. I am great at growing orchids.
15. My husband and I may have been in a weird Japanese movie that was shot on the waterways of Venice. When the cameras were pointed toward us, we waved our arms and shouted a lot.
16. One time, I was wheeling three cases of beer through the hallway at work and I ran into Condi Rice. She looked down at all the beer, looked back up at me and said, “Happy Holidays!”
17. I’ve been to the ER several times in my life. Once when I was really little, I ate a red crayon, pooped it out and my parents rushed me to the ER because they thought I was bleeding internally.
18. Another time I went to the ER was because I had been practicing to become an Olympic diver. I pretended that a dining room chair was the board and I was working on my front dives. Then my dad suggested that I try a back dive and I practically split half of my eye open. I still have a nasty scar. And I think my mom kicked my dad out of the house until my eye was fixed.
19. Another time I went to the ER was because one Saturday night in college, I decided to build my own computer using various parts. Somehow while putting it together, I managed to slice my finger wide open on a motherboard. All the other kids in the ER that night were drunk and needed their stomachs pumped and all the doctors made fun of me because I had injured myself on a computer.
20. Yet another visit to the ER. One day at work, we finally got some very important letters signed by the Secretary of State and I ran in my high heels to pick them up. Then I was running back to my office and fell down a flight of stairs with the letters in hand. I crumpled the letters on my fall, but they still were mentioned in the following Monday’s Washington Post, which wasn’t really worth it in the end. But it’s a neat story to tell.
21. One of my favorite pastimes is making models of the Starship Enterprise with modeling clay.
22. Once while running a ½ marathon, I was passed by an old woman who claimed to have bronchitis. I still had a respectable time though – 2:13.
23. One time my former boss decided to introduce me to Senator Bill Frist. I told her I enjoyed reading about how the Senator had performed open heart surgery on a gorilla. When I finally met him, my boss told the Senator that I had a huge interest in heart surgery and would like to speak to him about it. Yeah, I don’t know ANYTHING about heart surgery. Then my boss abandoned us and I was stuck with the Senator for five whole minutes pretending to know something about heart surgery.
24. I once met George Lucas, and he was wearing white jeans. Yes. White jeans.
25. I had yet another recent visit to the ER. I fell asleep on a love seat and seriously hurt my neck. Yes, that really happened.