Today, I saw that Chad Ochocinco has a Bengals Snuggie, which made me laugh for about ten minutes straight, but also totally upset me because I really hate those things.  I mean, you see these commercials where grown men are wearing these giant blankets and sitting around “raising the roof” with their families. That’s crazy!

Just over a hundred years ago, men were chopping down trees to build their own log homes.  They plowed land to feed their families.  They forded rivers in covered wagons, losing oxen and children.

And now?  They wear leopard-print blankets and raise the roof as they watch Dancing with the Stars.

My coworker thinks that with the advent of the Snuggie, more people will be watching TV than ever.  Why get up and move around to keep warm when you can just sit in your warm Snuggie and eat potato chips?

So in conclusion, only NFL players are allowed to have Snuggies, because at least we know they are doing something requiring physical exertion.